Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
