I faked an abortion last night.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
