Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
