I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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