My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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