Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
