all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
