So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
