so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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