he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
meet me or not, i'm out of control
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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