why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
this hospital has no fireball
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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