Got a toothbrush?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
