Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
