hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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