Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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