**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
