Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
