I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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