Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
