Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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