I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
