Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize