I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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