we're blogging at a bar
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
