drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
