I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
