You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
