I just pynch a tree in the face
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
