I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
