You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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