I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
