we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
