Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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