this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
