I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
