ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
