$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
