If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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