Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
