I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize