I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
