she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
