I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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