Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
