Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
