I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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