I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
