I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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