is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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