I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
