Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
be right there i have to get my cape
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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