forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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