So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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