"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
