I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize