It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it glows. i had to have it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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