apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
