operation harelip BJ is a go
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
