come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
