I wanna bring you to show and tell
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
