hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Still dying that you shit outside
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
