I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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